How to play in a complex space – Celebrating #IWD 2023 my way
How to celebrate International Womens Day - my way.
With IWD here and now, I’ve been perplexed as to how to add my voice to the myriad of celebrations and slogans that have graced my blooming socials. What do I have to say about IWD? How do I FEEL about IWD?
I can’t help but take a few deep breaths from the overwhelm that comes with our vocal channels these days. I read articles that praised the championing of women and applauded the brave and bold slogans. I watched organisations that I respect hold banner-making workshops for today's Women's March. I teared up at beautiful posts about women and what they’ve achieved.
In the mix were also articles slamming the mix of slogans (don’t embrace equity, crack the code for a gender equal future and vice versa) and scalding the tokenistic money spend on IWD events when that money could rightfully be going towards fixing the gender pay gap.
I dropped my jaw at the text argument with my friend who told me the gender pay gap was nothing more than ‘identity politics tripe’ whilst I was staring at the statistics that prove that isn’t so… whilst drawing on my own lived experience.
The day has left me perplexed.
Where do I sit on this sliding scale of IWD? And what AM I doing about the issues women are still facing?
The answer: Ok Trudi… PLAY WITH IT! (always)
I started by thinking about what makes women women.
I reflected on the qualities and the journey of what women present and past have gone through. The challenges. The strength. I thought of my sisters' organisation, currently running menopause education org wise because it’s the first time there have been that many women represented at menopausal age. I thought of the uterus… and I played with the word.
Ute-R-Us.
It made me giggle. I can’t help but think that womens qualities are like a good ute (to the non-Aussies, a ute is a utility vehicle…). Strong. Dependable. Able to carry a load without fuss. Often taken for granted “just throw it in the ute”.
Conclusion:
I settled on the fact that women DO need a day of celebration – and throwing money at events is not a waste… it is a step towards organisations taking thought and accountability from sub-conscious to conscious as they look at their stats, gather their female tribes and add up their accountability for marketing purposes.
And then I asked AI to do me a Ute-R-Us.
Then I looked inwards: What have I done to improve the movement of women? (other than writing this blog)?
I’m not attending IWD events today, and feel a little guilty about it, but does that mean I’m not fists up for the tribe? I thought of my week. I’ve just returned from an annual trip away with a dear friend where we took the first steps to create her immersive theatrical piece that dives into the constraints that society places on women.
Then I conversed with my female teammates as we enter the last few weeks of training to walk 100klm to prove to ourselves and our offspring that we are warriors and completed it with a production meeting about a short film script exploring a womans painful life choices being made with two exceptional men.
Conclusion
My fists are up!
The very fact that I held guilt for not attending an IWD event is one of the tropes we are fighting as women. That we have to do everything. That if I’m not screaming the motto then I’m not putting in the work. But I am. All the small steps move towards a future where our daughters will never have to consider their gender as a hurdle to anything. And we need to cut ourselves some slack! We need women to march today… but if some women can’t make it because they need to mum… we need to respect that too.
And finally… who am I actually celebrating today?
At first, I wanted to celebrate the women who fight hard, the women who smash the glass ceiling, the women who’ve gone before… but then I dived into wanting to celebrate the men who are calling bullshit on their mates in the boys club. The ones who are stepping forward to make their ‘mates’ accountable. Then I thought – ‘hang on, you can’t thank MEN on International Womens Day…. How backward is THAT?’
But then I’ve got one. A little one. So I want to celebrate mothers of sons, and fathers of sons, because this is where I believe the grassroots work must be done to truly bring about the change we need, but then mothers of daughters have a responsibility too to build strong empowered women…and then I want to celebrate the people behind us, and in front of us, and those that don’t have it easy like us, or the freedom like us… and the whole thing became ….overwhelming.
Conclusion
So I want to celebrate anyone who has awareness of the challenges that women still face on any other day BUT IWD.
If you are doing happy selfies with your colleague Nicole today because you want to show how great you are, but you are actually not aware that she works despite suffering bouts of endometriosis, earns 10% less than you and often struggles to sleep from the incontinence of her 8-year-old – shame on you.
Everyone else – I celebrate you!
Keep the fight up. Man and woman. If you want to embrace equity today – go for it! If you want to crack the code for a gender-equal future – wonderful! If you are sipping bubbles and listening to an incredible speaker – I applaud you. If you are working in your pyjamas at lunchtime – awesome.
I simply ask that you stop today and think: ‘what does IWD actually mean to me?’
I hope you find your meaning and take your action.. whatever that is!
